I knew Paco loved the blanket when early one morning, he came up to the half that I had finished, started rubbing his head on it, and then settled down on it, all while I was still tucking in yarn ends on the other half. There were approximately 60+ yarn ends to tuck, which made me a little crazed...
I did it! My crojo has returned!
I finished the scrap yarn blanket for Paco using the pattern by Sara Sach at Posh Pooches Designs, but instead of doing 2 rows of 1 color, I did 1 row of 1 color for that adorable heart effect.
Finishing, naturally, was a pain in the arse. 1 row of color = 2 yarn ends to tuck in. Blech.
BUT, I think the end effect is fabulous. I also think I made really good sense of the colors I had available.
When I'm depressed, I'm judging myself enough. I become acutely aware of how poorly I'm functioning, and that awareness pulls my mood down even more. It's a struggle to be compassionate with myself, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this, so people who perpetuate the mental illness stigma? *middle finger*
I dated a guy on and off who I liked at first... Then he told me about a first date he had, and how some poor girl had confessed to him that she was living with bipolar disorder. On a first date, that takes some balls. This douche was practically bragging about how he immediately cut off contact with her, like she was contagious or something. That was the exact moment I knew that it wasn't going to work out with us.
Whew. I digress... Sorry, I get really angry about this stuff. While crocheting this doghan/afghan, I realized the other half of why I stopped crocheting: Etsy. The Etsy market is flooded with crochet goods (cuz crochet is awesome!), and since I'm terrible at social media, I'm terrible at marketing, and I'm also pretty bad at branding, my stuff was just sitting there, not moving. And because I personally think my crochet stuff is pretty spiffy, I was actually taking that kind of hard. I'm a perfectionist.
In the meantime, I know I can write, and I know that I can crochet just about anything. Etsy is/was making me unhappy, so it's on the back burner. I literally put my store in vacation mode, and I'm trying to sell my existing "for sale" crocheted stuff at basement prices on eBay. For now, I'm just gonna concentrate on designing patterns, blogging, and crocheting stuff for myself and the people (and dogs) I love in my life.